I was at a funeral today…didn’t know him all that well…so I was one of those who stood expressionless, almost wooden. His family was besides themselves in grief. I look at them, and I know I don’t know how they feel; I haven’t lost a father.
As always, the mind begins to wander. I remember how I felt when I lost someone very close to me. Its not a place I like visiting or acknowledging…but this always runs through my mind at funerals. I don’t like going back there. Makes me feel very sad. I’m good at ignoring things like that. Unhealthy I guess, but easier.
Funerals sometimes make me want to cry. But an idiot I would look like if I cried for someone I barely knew, so I stop myself.
No-one else really knows what you’re going through at moments like that. They make you think they know. Those reassuring pats, kisses, holding of hands – they think that’ll make the pain go away. It doesn’t.
They pretend to cry, force unwilling tears to roll down their cheeks, speak mournfully. That irks me!
I hate being on the other side…what do you say to the grieving wife, husband, daughter, son? Deepest sympathies?